that dizzy edge: life, music and boredom

Thursday, October 26, 2006

life, music and boredom

I don't want to be a frustrated person. For example, I haven't been making progress with my frustrated musical life. When I say that I have a musical life doesn't mean that I'm confident with any musical skills. I don't even think of myself as a musician or someone who's musically inclined. I would like to be and I try to be sometimes, but most of the time, I end up being frustrated. It's a lifestyle that I can't hold on to in the long run. The artist's lifestyle.. I dream of it sometimes. Everyday I would write on tissue napkins a song that would move a lot of people or simply look cool. Wait.. pshh haha. Vanity ruins. How can I not be frustrated when I'm in a management course? Where do I get to express myself? Maybe I graph mathematical equations in abstract ways-- a possible reason why I get low marks in math.

Any chances of the artist in me to bloom was killed when I chose not to go to ust. The course I had in ust was more promising to me in terms of enjoyment but logic came first. The other school seemed to have more job opportunities.

But I'm happy now. Forget about everything I said about being frustrated in life. I'm happy now and that's what's important. If I don't grow up to be the person I want to become then I'm the one who's at fault. If i really wanted to become that person, I should be starting right now. Those people who say they've made the wrong decisions in life lie. Maybe they did but there a lot of chances to correct them. I know that artist that I was dreaming about hasn't been killed yet. yey. labo.

There are reasons why I'm staying at this school, in my course and doing the things I'm doing. I can't name them all but there's one word which can temporarily describe the feeling I have--Bahala na. It may sound stupid and wreckless at first, but i think every person who uses that word really have their own meaning for it.

The truth is I'm bored that's why I made it longer that it was supposed to be.
The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy fat dog.

Comments:

Nice post. The abstract graphing was a nice touch. :)

Kala ko rin dati magiging writer ako na laging nakasuot ng black, laging may dalang black laptop, tambay sa coffee shop, magsusulat sabay inom black coffee. Oh well, hindi e.

Bahala na. Masayang hindi isipin ang bukas at bahala na. Ito na siguro ang tinatawag nilang living in the moment.

Yeeuck, deep na naman ako. x_x

# posted by

Anonymous : October 26, 2006 7:53 PM

ok lang kahit walang goal
ok lang magkamali

basta na lang sugod
bahala na kung mali

live your life the way you want it to be. it is your story and only you can decide what will be the ending.

# posted by

tunay na pagibig : October 26, 2006 8:58 PM

...You don't make bad decisions..there are no such things. It is possible to get results which you don't want. It is possible to ride the wrong path. Still, we don't make bad decisions because we always have a good reason...

Life just throws everything it has to throw at you...At the end of the day, look back, smile, remember the good times. Wish for the future. Live for the now...Peace bro

# posted by

Anonymous : October 26, 2006 9:43 PM

Hi, Miguel. Madaling araw na at naisipan kong magbasa ng mga blogs...

Know what, we have quite a similar problem. I actually plan to study again after this course. UST, conservatory of music (but my parents want UP). Shall I see you there? ;)

As for me, I'm staying in ADMU for my parents. That's big money involved. There are no regrets though, I met a lovely bunch.

And most importantly. About being a musician. Do you love music?

If you do,

You are most definitely

a musician.

That's all there is to it, mi amigo. A passion never, ever, dead. ;)

# posted by

Anonymous : October 27, 2006 3:29 AM

aislinn: ako rin ata laging nakablack dapat. mejo weird pa na kausap.. mejo aloof. haha
sory, napapadeep tlga ako kapag walang kausap e.

parallax: sugod mga kapatid!

anonymous: i agree. thanx bro ^^,

joyce: yes i do. ;D
consevatory of music? i haven't thought about it yet. mas mataas naman ata yung chances natin magkita dun kumpara sa amp.

no regrets, no regrets.

# posted by

miguel : October 27, 2006 11:09 AM

bahala na... 2 words mehn lol

-roy

# posted by

Anonymous : October 27, 2006 10:39 PM

hinde, one word yun e.

akala ko ikaw si anonymous.. cno yun

# posted by

miguel : October 28, 2006 4:55 PM